


A Long Road To Recovery From Here

by dragonsarmors



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Civil War was resolved in this timeline, Everyone Needs A Hug, Friendly Neighborhood Exchange, Gen, He came with Happy on the plane, IronDad and SpiderSon, May is worried about Peter, Not Beta Read, Peter Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Has Nightmares, Peter Parker has PTSD, Peter goes to therapy, Sam is his therapist, The snap put him in a coma but then he woke up while Peter was in Europe, Tony Needs a Hug, Tony is a good dad, Tony was extremely pissed at Beck but couldn’t fight yet, but Tony lives, no beta we die like men, post-Far From Home, tony is Peter’s dad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:35:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25226926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonsarmors/pseuds/dragonsarmors
Summary: Peter has always had nightmares, ever since he was a kid. But after Europe they’ve gotten a lot worse. So he ends up in therapy with Sam to look back on how he got here. And that is a long and dark path strewn over with green smoke, but maybe, he’s not alone.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Sam Wilson, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Tony Stark & Sam Wilson
Comments: 4
Kudos: 70
Collections: The Friendly Neighborhood Exchange





	A Long Road To Recovery From Here

**Author's Note:**

  * For [alwayslily](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alwayslily/gifts).



“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay, Pete?”

“I’ll be fine Mr. Stark”

“Okay, but if you change your mind at all, I’ll just be right outside in the waiting room.”

Peter gave a hum of acknowledgement, and with that Tony stepped out of the therapy room, leaving an exhausted Peter Parker sitting on the couch across from Sam Wilson, who was sitting in a leather chair with a pair of reading glasses on.

“So Peter, can you tell me why you are here today?” Sam finally said breaking the strange but comforting silence.

Curling into himself, Peter muttered a sentence into his arms that could barely be heard by Sam.

“Could you speak up just a little bit Peter?”

“I said, I thought you already know why I’m here.”

“Yes, I do, but I want to hear it in your own words to see how it lines up with what Tony said when he made this appointment for you.” Sam explained. 

“I… um, well, I haven’t been able to sleep for a while now, and I think I’m worrying May and Mr. Stark, but I don’t mean to.” Peter said, uncurling himself a little bit. 

Sam grabbed a pen out of his pocket, clicked it open and wrote a short note on his pad of paper.

“I’ve had troubles sleeping before… like before the uh… you know”

“The snap?”

“Yeah uh that…” Peter gulped.

“We don’t have to use that name if it makes you uncomfortable Peter.”

Peter let out a soft sigh, “Thanks Mr. Wilson…”

“I want to make sure you’re comfortable Peter, and please, call me Sam, Mr. Wilson makes me feel old.”

That got a small chuckle out of the tired and tense teen. 

“Back before… all that, I’ve had troubles with nightmares, pretty much since I was a kid. Losing both parents and an uncle will do that I guess. But, um, they got a lot worse after I became Spider-Man.”

•••

_3 days after Homecoming._

Peter still had aches all over his body, mostly from a few minor fractures that already healed up, and most of the bruises were lighter colours or already completely gone. Aunt May still didn’t know about Spider-Man so Peter had been staying at his room at the Tower. Tony told him that he needs to tell May eventually and that another “internship retreat” after he magically got hired back wasn’t going to work as cover for very long. 

That task was added to Peter’s ever-growing to-do list, for later.

That night, everything comes back at once. 

_“That thing hasn’t even touched me yet!”_

_“True. Then again, wasn’t really trying to”_

_Before he could interpret what Toomes meant, the sound of cracking concrete surrounded him and was crashing down on top of him._

_There was a distinct lack of heavy objects pinning him down and dust invading his lungs, instead there was grit in his mouth and overwhelming heat surrounding him._

_Surrounded by fire and the remnants of the cargo plane, a jittery whirring noise came from behind him and he had giant metal claws digging into his shoulders as he was thrust multiple times into the burning sand._

_He was choking, the sand and dust wouldn’t stop filling his lungs, he had no chance to breathe and was being beaten, bruised, and burned._

_With one last breath, he screamed._

Peter shot awake and immediately covered his mouth in an attempt to muffle his terrified scream. He had tears streaming down his face as his chest spasmed wildly trying to find air to breathe. 

He could hear some bare footsteps slapping across the hard floors of the Tower hallway and next thing he knew Peter was out his window and clinging to the side of the tower in just his PJ’s. He could hear Tony asking Friday where he had gone and he just climbed all the way to the roof and just sat there crying for the rest of the night. 

The next morning Peter decided he was healed enough and heading home before Tony woke up, leaving just a note on his bed.

He didn’t stick around long enough to know Tony never went back to bed. 

•••

“You had a building dropped on you?” Sam asked, worry and concern showing through his professional demeanour. 

“Yep.” Peter popped. “Still have some problems being in buildings where I can see the support pillars.”

“That’s understandable Peter, even the smallest things can remind us of trauma.” 

“But why, there’s been so much other shit that’s happened to me I should be over that!” Peter yelled, not even realizing his voice raised at all. 

“We don’t get to pick and choose how our brains process the trauma we experience. Sometimes it makes sense and other times it doesn’t. There’s so much about our brains we don’t understand, so while it can be frustrating, we just aren’t in control.” 

Peter gave a silent nod and curled into himself again.

Sam could see he was losing him, so he pulled a trick out from his sleeve. 

“Hey Peter, do you want to play Jenga?” Sam offered.

“Since when did this become game night?!” Peter said with more venom than he intended to. 

“I find sometimes it’s easier to talk if I have something to do with my hands, I know Tony does as well, so I thought it might help you too.” 

There’s silence for a few seconds while Peter considers the offer.

“Okay.” He says with a small nod, “Jenga sounds good.” 

They pulled out the blocks and started to make the tower. 

“So Peter, when you say so much other stuff has happened to you, do you mean everything that happened 5 years ago?”

“Um yeah… but also so much more. First I got turned into dust, then next thing I know I’m back after 5 years and I watch Mr. Stark almost die, and then I got betrayed and manipulated by Beck.”

“Can you tell me more about that, Peter?” 

•••

_2 weeks after the Europe trip_

It wasn’t an understatement to say that all hell had broken loose on the Europe trip. Peter was still sore from being hit by a fucking train, and then fighting off all the drones in London. 

Why did he give the glasses to Beck?

Well… When Peter left for the trip, Tony was still in a coma and everyone was still unsure if he would make it. So when Fury told him he needed to step up, Peter feared the worst and assumed Tony had died. Yeah, he probably should have asked, but that’s just another way he massively screwed up.

And that night in the bar, when Beck put on the glasses, he just looked so much like Tony, it triggered something deep inside him. How was he supposed to know he was about to get stabbed in the back? 

All of this just piled on to the mess that was Peter’s brain post-snap. He got turned to dust, watched his da- mentor almost die, and then he was backstabbed by a sociopath masquerading as a superhero who just so happened to love torturous illusions. 

Speaking of those wonderful illusions, Peter was having non-stop vivid nightmares that felt like he was back under Beck’s spell. 

_Green smoke surrounded him. The space around him feels both expansive and suffocating at once. He waited anxiously to see what torments Beck has in store for him tonight._

_Tonight seems to be a roulette wheel of pain._

_It comes in flashes: Titan. Homecoming. The Compound. London. Friends and Family Dead. Everything Destroyed._

_And it’s always his fault._

Peter wakes again shuddering, coated in cold sweat and gulping down the remnants of a scream.

And just like every night he’s out the window and off onto the rooftops of Queens before May can make it to his room. 

He stays out until 5am, doing whatever he can to stay busy so his mind doesn’t wander back to green smoke. Then he returns home and try to make it look like he’s not dead on his feet and gets ready for school. 

Normally he’s able to slip to the slip out the door with just a quick “I love you” to May, but today she stands in front of the door.

“Peter, can I talk to you really quickly?” May said with a sad smile on her face. 

“I’m gonna be late May, I gotta go.” Peter replied, his eyes darting, trying to find a way past her. 

“It’s 6am honey, school doesn’t start for another hour, just a second.”

“Okay…” Peter said, curling into himself.

“I know you haven’t been sleeping. I hear you scream and before I can go check on you, you’re gone.” May had worry lining her face. 

“I’m fine May, really…” Peter looked ready to disappear.

“Peter, You don’t have to pretend you are, but I went ahead and called Tony, he wants you to come to the Lake House for the weekend. He’s going to pick you up from school today, okay?” 

If May had gotten Mr. Stark involved, there was no getting out of it this time.

“Okay.” Peter said softly.

“Oh honey, I’m only doing this because I think he can help you.” May said, hugging her shaken nephew. 

_Later that night_

Peter sat anxiously on his bed in his room at the Lake House. It’s a nice room, Tony has it all decorated with science, Star Wars, and other nerdy things. It feels like home, but he just couldn’t get to sleep. 

His door creaked opened slightly 

“Hey kiddo, I thought you would be asleep by now, it’s almost 11pm.” Tony said with a small sad smile on his face. 

“I don’t want to go back there…” Peter said, just barely audible

“You’re gonna have to speak up bud, my ears are getting old.”

“I don’t want to go back to the illusions.”

“The illusions are gone Peter, Beck is gone and EDITH is back under my control, they can’t get you anymore.”

“I know they are gone, but they’re still in my head. Every time I close my eyes, the green smoke is there and so is Beck.”

“Oh bambino.” Tony says, coming over to Peter and giving him a hug. “Do you want to come down to the lab for a bit?” 

“I don’t want to keep you awake…” Peter said nervously 

“Kid, how long have you known me?”

“Um like 3 years, well 8 for you.”

“And why do you think I wouldn’t be up to a late night lab session with my kid.”

All Peter could do was shrug. 

_A few hours later_

Tony and Peter just went into their regular work groove, just working on random projects and occasionally talking about random things or just singing goofily. Eventually Peter fell asleep leaning on his workbench. 

“Is he asleep FRI?” Tony asked.

“Mr. Parker is asleep.”

“Good, I was hoping I would get him to sleep eventually. What time is it?”

“2:27am”

Tony picks up Peter, it always throws him off guard that he’s easier to pick up than Morgan, and takes him over to the couch in the lab. He sets him down and grabs the throw blanket of the back of the couch and spreads it out over the teen’s small frame. 

“Goodnight Bambino, sweet dreams.” He whispers, a sad smile coming across his face, because deep inside him, he knows there won’t be any good dreams going through Peter’s head. 

Tony then turns back around and goes to clean up Peter’s workspace, saving project files and putting tools away. He then goes back to his station and continues to work silently, because even though he’s starting to tire out, he wants to be right there when Peter wakes up, May told him about his tendency to flee post-nightmare. 

It’s only about 45 minutes later before Tony starts to hear some small whimpers coming from the couch. He turns around and sees Peter starting to toss and turn. 

He gets out of his chair and goes and kneels next to the couch. 

“Pete, wake up. It’s okay, Beck is gone, there are no more illusions, everyone is safe, I’m here bambino.”

But inside Peter’s head it’s one of the worst nightmares so far.

_The green smoke expanded outwards, revealing a vast landscape filled with tombstones. Peter walked nervously about, afraid to look at the names but eventually curiosity got the better of him._

_May Parker. Ned Leeds, Michelle Jones. Happy Hogan. Pepper Potts-Stark. Morgan Stark._

_And then in the middle of the area was the biggest stone of them all…_

_Tony Stark._

_On top of the stone there was a sculpture of an Iron Man helmet. Blank eyes staring back at him._

_All of a sudden the uncomfortable silence turned into a symphony of screams. Peter could barely decipher the full on ear assault, but a few repeated phrases came through the fog._

_“You failed us.”  
“You should have saved us.”  
“Why didn’t you do more?”  
“Why did you let us die?”_

_Peter crouched down, covering his ears, trying to block out the voices of his friends and family that he killed._

_Then the earth beneath him started to shake, dirt sprayed up into his face, and when he looked up, he screamed._

_Standing right in front of him was Tony, but not the one he knew, not his dad._

_No, this Tony was half-rotted, the skeleton showing through where his skin had disappeared. And on top of that, his eyes were glowing an angry red, one that matched the colour of the eyes on the helmet statue behind him that was now activated._

_Tony looked down on him and opened his mouth, where a distorted version of his voice joined the chorus of blame._

_“You let me die.”  
“I never should have tried to save you”  
“You’re the reason Morgan won’t have a father.”  
“It’s all your fault.”_

_Then all of the voices synced up with each other._

_“It’s all your fault.”  
“It’s all your fault.”  
“It’s al- Peter!”  
“Peter! -our fault.”_

_“Peter!”_  
•••

Peter had frozen in the middle of placing his block on the top of the tower. His eyes slightly glazing over as his breath became uneven.

“Shit.” Sam said, getting up and quickly opening the door to the waiting room.

“You ready to go kidd-“ Tony began to say, looking up from his phone, not expecting to see a frightened looking Sam Wilson standing there. 

“Sam, what’s wrong?!” Tony nearly shouted.

“I think Peter is having a flashback.” Sam said as calmly as he could in the moment. 

“Shit.” Tony said, nearly sprinting to the room and onto the couch next to Peter who was now trembling a bit and muttering under his breath.

“My fault… it’s my fault… everyone is dead and it’s my fault.” 

Tony tapped his watch and got FRIDAY going listing the date, time, weather, and other grounding facts. He then wrapped his kid in a hug and started talking to him, just as he did on that night in the lab.

“Peter, everyone is safe and alive, you’re safe, I’m here, nothing is your fault, Beck is gone, the illusions are gone, come back to me Bambino.”

Tony kept repeating that for what felt like forever until he heard a shuddered gasp come from beside him.

“Da- Mr. Stark?” Peter whispered.

“You can call me dad if you want to Bambino.” Tony said, a small smile breaking through his worried expression.

“Okay dad.” And those shaky words were the last Peter could get out before he started to sob in Tony’s arms. 

Sam gave a small smile towards the pair before closing the door and stepping out into the hallway to give them time.

It was going to be a long road to recovery, but Sam knew that if Peter had Tony by his side, everything was going to be okay.


End file.
